09.25.07 Gaither.com Interview with Kevin & Kathy Williams

September 2007 - Interview by Emily Sutherland


Two years ago you could almost hear the collective sigh across North America as news travelled that Kevin Williams would be leaving the Gaither Homecoming Tour. After more than a decade serving as the band director, guitar player and funny-man, the heavy travel schedule was taking its toll on the Williams' two young daughters, Olivia and Carolina. Because Kevin is a father before he is a musician, he stepped off the stage and began working an office job so he could enjoy evenings and weekends at home with his family.

Homecoming audiences know and love Kevin Williams for his quick wit and guitar savvy but what is he like at home? Is he always that funny? According to his wife, Kathy, there are many other sides to Kevin Williams that audiences - and even his fellow artists - don't know. The Williams have a deep understanding of each other and of their calling, which they are living out with more joy than ever. What a privilege it is to offer this unprecedented glimpse into the private life of Kevin and Kathy Williams. Here they talk about some of the experiences, beliefs, stories and traditions that have cemented their faith and their family.
Why did Kevin leave the tour and why is he back?

On his leaving the tour, Kathy states with confidence, "I believe it was ordained by God and was exactly what he was supposed to do at that time."

"The girls were at critical times in their lives," Kevin recalls. "We feel that we're raising little people - little adults - and we did not feel right about farming them out to other people. Their needs are important, and they needed their Daddy at home at that time."

Now, two years later, the girls are older and the tour schedule allows for a weekend off nearly every month, so Kevin and Kathy prayed about his return to the stage and, as Kathy puts it, "I totally feel like this is what he is what he is supposed to be doing at this time."

Kevin says, "As the girls grew out of that [stage] a little bit and my business changed, it was a tough choice but we both felt good about it and the kids have done great with it, especially since the schedule is better."


What is family life like at the Williams' home?

If you were a fly on the wall of the Williams' Brentwood, Tennessee, home you would quickly understand why Kevin's absence on the weekends was difficult for his young daughters because, when he is home, he is 110% present and actively involved in their day. From the moment they open their eyes in the morning to their last moment of the day, Kevin is right there at the heart of what they are doing.
"I always wake them up, because I just love doing that," Kevin says, "I have to wake them each up differently... Carolina isn't a morning person. Then every day that I'm home they will get a back ride downstairs for breakfast." In the Williams girls lives, they have never once gone to breakfast on their own if Kevin was home. Even if they wake up before he comes to get them, they wait in their beds until he enters for their customary back ride to breakfast.

On the day before Olivia's 6th birthday, Kevin went to get her for breakfast and, when he acknowledged that it was her last day as a five-year-old, she stood on the bed and howled like a wolf! Moments like that, no one can predict or recreate. It brings Kevin and Kathy a great deal of joy to revel in those unexpected expressions that come with the quantity and quality time kids so need.

"Another important thing we do every day..." Kathy adds, "We always have morning devotions before we do anything or go anywhere. The girls read scripture - they're at an age when they can do that now - and that is a critical part of our day..."

"I wear so many hats that there's not one schedule," Kevin says, "but I take the kids to school every morning I'm home. Not every dad gets to do that - holding hands and walking in each morning," a reflective tone rises up in his voice as he talks about the girls... "I love it, and I want them to always have that memory. Then, after the kids get off to school I do whatever I have to do for the day, whether it's meetings, a studio session, pulling together charts for a special project, and now I'm blogging on Gaither.com, you know!"

Kathy readily affirms Kevin's approach to fatherhood, "He is such a hands-on dad. During the week he helps out tremendously - plays with them, gets very creative with them and they love that. When I'm cooking dinner, he is always playing games or reading with them."

"We feel it's very important to sit down at the dinner table every night and eat together," Kathy continues, "and at the dinner table we often do something we call 'highs and lows' where the girls talk about the best and worst parts of their day. We do that so we can learn what they enjoyed, what bothered them and where they are at emotionally."

"Kathy cooks every night, too," Kevin announces admiringly. "Lots of women don't have the opportunity to do that, but she makes these great home-cooked meals every night. "

Kevin's mom, now suffering from Parkinson's disease, enjoys Kathy's cooking, too. Mrs. Williams gets a home-cooked meal delivered to her door each evening.

"On Friday nights if I'm home (or on Wednesdays if I'm on the road) it's pizza night." Kevin describes the experience with a grin... "The girls and I make the pizza. I sit the girls up on the counter and we throw food all over the place and have fun."

"He isn't kidding. There's literally a pepperoni on the top of my kitchen cabinets right now..." Kathy laughs.
Kevin laughs... "That's true! Last time one of the girls announced, 'Mama I've got a mushroom in my eye!' So it can get pretty wild!"

Each week Kevin and the girls experiment to further perfect their pizza recipe, adjusting how much basil goes into the sauce or what toppings make the perfect pizza. Once everyone is seated at a TV tray and takes the first bite, someone always says, "This is better than last one!"
Kevin marvels, "We hear that every week, seriously! Then we watch a G-rated movie and eat on TV trays. We've been doing that for three years now. The hardest part is finding a G-rated movie every week!"

On Saturdays when Kevin is home, the plan is always the same... "Kevin makes pancakes and bacon every Saturday morning!" Kathy announces. (Hopefully he doesn't go as crazy with the syrup as he does with pepperoni!)
On the weekends when Kevin is out making music, Kathy describes her life as extreme momhood... "On Saturdays we spend mommy-daughter time - shopping, play dates, playing games or eating out together. We leave Kevin messages every night so he gets them after the concert. He has saved every one of them."

An aspect of family life the Williams hold especially sacred is the act of celebrating anything and everything they can think of to celebrate. It bears mentioning that, according to Kevin and Kathy, the less money they spend on these celebrations the more significance they often take on.

"We make a celebration of whatever they're into. Gloria is the master of that, and we've learned from her. Any time they lose a tooth, anything they overcome, we celebrate," Kathy says, recalling a recent celebration this past Spring... "Olivia was afraid of bugs for the longest time. We had prayed with her about it and prayed over her, and God really delivered her from that fear, so we celebrated by taking her on a picnic to a botanical garden. I made a cake with bugs on it and we hung a congratulations sign!"


Kathy talks about being married to Homecoming's funny guy...

"The stardom of it doesn't really 'impress' me for lack of a better word," she states honestly. "I love the fact that Kevin makes people laugh, so if he can make somebody laugh and make them forget for two minutes that a loved one is sick or a child is struggling, that's a blessing and that's something I'm glad he can do."

Clearly a Kevin Williams fan for her own reasons, she continues, "Kevin is creative, of course, and funny and witty, and Carolina gets that part of him. Olivia got the performing side of him--she will perform anytime for anyone. But, to be honest, most people don't really know the creative side of Kevin. There is a whole other side to him that even artists who know him well don't know about. Not just musically, but he and Carolina will write children's books together.

"Sometimes they will give me a day off - to have lunch with my sister or whatever - and while I'm gone they will write a story together and when I come home they'll act it out. It is always so stinkin' funny."

Kevin divulges the most recent story line..."One time we had a ladybug that fell into the toilet and a bear got to help the ladybug at the end." He adds, "There is a biological thing that happens when you laugh, so we take laughter seriously - for health and well-being."

Kathy points out another side to Kevin that she loves... "He is a motivational person. To me, if he wasn't doing what he is doing, he could be a motivational speaker. He has a t-shirt that says, 'Change your thinking, change your world' and he believes that. That's one of the biggest things I've learned from him - positive thinking. His glass is always half-full."


How Kevin and Kathy stay connected as a couple...

There is another important tradition that Kathy looks forward to at the end of every day... "Our tea time at night... Kevin makes tea after the girls are in bed and we just spent quiet time talking or reading. That started 1400 cups of tea ago, and we look forward to it every day. Sometimes the television is on, sometimes it's off, or it's a show we've recorded on Tivo. Sometimes we get a movie, but no matter what we're doing, it's time we look forward to."

Kevin confesses that their tea-time tradition was started after a disagreement one night. He suggested that they talk it out over a cup of tea and the day ended with a civil conversation together, thus beginning a tradition they never want to miss.

"We went through a rough time four or five years ago and we figured out, after 6 years of marriage, we didn't really know one another," Kevin admits. "That was a hard realization, but it was true."

Kathy agrees, adding, "We have to make it a priority to have even a little bit of time. Anyone can go out to a movie or dinner together, like a date, but we have friends who have done that regularly and still ended up divorced, because anyone can do that. But to sit down and look into each other's eyes and say, 'What was your day like? What's bothering you?' ... is just amazing. I've never had that with anyone."

Kevin agrees... "And August 16 marked 11 years for us!"


How did these two soul mates find one another?

Kathy was working at a record company where Kevin was playing in sessions. He recalls, "Everyone at the recording company was trying to fix us up. Kathy was the one who would pay me at the end of the sessions, so one day I asked her to go to lunch. We went out to lunch forever..."
Kathy inserts the real details, "Twice. O'Charley's and Appleby..." The two banter for a moment and agree that she is right before Kevin adds, "But I do remember our first official date! It was a movie, then out to eat, then to Walmart..." he pauses briefly to lament that maybe Walmart wasn't the best choice for a first date, but then he recovers... "That was in November of 1993!"

Not surprisingly, he also remembers their first kiss... "It was in the breezeway of Kathy's apartment building, and just at that moment... leaves blew all over, like a movie."
Kevin proposed to Kathy on Valentine's Day of 1996, after going to a Ray Charles concert with friends. Recalling a near miss, Kevin reflects, "We went to eat Japanese food before the concert, and I had the ring in pocket but I chickened out. So we went to the concert... and no! So then we went to Shoney for hot fudge cake and all I could think was, 'I can't propose at Shoneys!'" Wisely, he waited to propose until he took her home, but in the meantime their server, Alnita, happened to blurt out a comment that almost blew his cover.

Kevin recalls, "She was quite a handful, and at one point she blurted out, 'Well are ya married or are ya happy?!' So my buddy, who knew the ring was in my pocket, retorted, 'Alnita, you're fixing to blow it!'"

This you won't believe... This past summer, more than 11 years after that Valentine's evening, Kevin and Kathy took the girls to the same Shoney's... and Alnita was still there and was their server again. They were thrilled to report to her that they are married AND happy all these years later!


When life gets tough...

Every life experiences challenges, no matter who you are, and it helps to know what other people do to get through tough times. Here's what Kevin says...

"We went through a trial last year and I was asking, 'Where do I need to be, Lord? I don't have a clue!' and we read Job 11:16-17, which says, 'You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by, life will be brighter than noon day and darkness will become like morning.'"" (Today's New International Version)

"It was like a promise just for us. So we read that every day and it infiltrated our minds. And when you get into that mindset and start to look for the darkness to become lighter, life begins to produce changes as your expectancy changes. As things started to change in our lives... that changed us. Whatever you go through on a particular day is going to pass - you will get through this.

"I remember reading a quote: 'The pain of every change is forgotten when the benefits of that change are realized.' You don't look back and see the pain once you're past it. He created the pain to create something else in you and when you realize that purpose, you forget the pain."
Kathy recalls a verse that Kevin often refers to, "'As a man thinketh, so is he...' Kevin is a firm believer in the way your thoughts determine the way your life leads you... you have to have that positive mindset."

Kevin sums it up like this: "Faith in yourself gives you a little steam but we're not designed that way... we're designed to have faith in God."

In Conclusion...

This interview could go on for many, many more pages because, as Kevin and Kathy offered this glimpse into their life, there is much more there than anyone might realize at a glance. Behind Kevin's talent and humor is a deep well of principle-based thinking, practical wisdom and creativity that drives everything he does. From his humble beginnings growing up in a small, two-stoplight-town in Kentucky to the coveted Homecoming stage, where any artist would aspire to stand, he has lived a life dedicated to continual growth. His dreams grow exponentially as he grows deeper in his faith, and only the Lord knows how many lives have been touched and will continue to be touched through him. But there are three lovely young women - Kathy, Carolina and Olivia - who are daily impacted by his gifts and who forever remain his most devoted fans.